Online Dating

Okay, so I’m single, that’s cool, I’m young, no need to stress yet, right? Well even though I know I still have lots of time, I’m also actively looking for an appropriate mate, should be hard right, lots of fish in the sea. Well it shouldn’t be hard but it is. I don’t know if it’s like this in every town but Vancouver is TERRIBLE for finding a guy, and I’m not the only one that thinks this. I’m a girl that works in a make up store, we talk about boys a lot! It’s finally gotten to be too much, I feel I must vent.

Okay, first off, like I said, I work pretty much full time at a make up store, and then do youtube, and try to do photoshoots, freelance and get my work out there on the side, so I don’t have lots of extra time to go to bars. So since my chances are slim to find a single straight guy chilling at Sephora (no offence, just being realistic, especially being surrounded by such amazing, beautiful co-workers lol) I have decided to turn to online dating. So I am on OKcupid, Badoo, fetlife (which isn’t a dating site, but I have met, and gone on dates with people from it), and I had Tinder and pof but gave up. Needless to say I have tried a couple different sites but the out come seems to be the same regardless.

So far things I have noticed about guys online:

  1. They like to joke around (saying crude and rude things but just say “come on, I’m joking”)
  2. Ultimate goal 75% (I’m being generous probably closer to 80% or 90%) of the time is just to get some action
  3. They’ll lead on until they accomplish their goal or get bored
  4. It’s all a game since there are so many options (there’s almost a 5 to 1 ration of women to men it fells like)
  5. Plans are not a big deal and can easily be ignored or forgotten (it will be all cool up until an hour before the date then, silence)
  6. Relationships mean nothing (I have met/talked to an astounding number of guys cheating on their wives/gf)
  7. People are more open minded (poly or open relationship) which isn’t bad but also not good when your looking for your lobster

Now here are some pet peeves (theres a lot):

  1. Guys are terrible at filling out profiles
  2. And even worse at taking selfies (never take a pic of up your nose, and make sure it’s not blurry or too far away!)
  3. Deleting your profile mid convo is no big deal (how does that even make sense, I’ll be chatting to a guy and say “brb got to go change laundry” then come back to their profile being delete, like WHAT!?!)
  4. Guys suggest to meet at a coffee shop, but then they don’t drink coffee or tea and aren’t going to buy anything and I don’t drink coffee so it’s just people sitting in a coffee shop awkwardly not buying anything
  5. Guys want you to come all the way to them (one guy wanted me to commute over 2hrs each way just to watch a movie) and then get offeneded when I say no
  6. They can’t decided on a place to meet, I want a guy to show some dominance, I’ll say where I live they know where they live and so should suggest a happy medium (usually downtown is a safe bet)
  7. If the guy chooses an expensive restaurant they should pay (I’m saying this as a broke person, if a guy chooses a really expensive restaurant then there is no way I can buy anything, luckily I haven’t been faced with a guy not paying but still!)
  8. A first date should NEVER be at either of the person house (it always just lead to sex or the uncomfortable silence if one or neither aren’t into it, also adds lots of unwanted pressure to have sex)
  9. When a guy suggests to meet after dark in a park or somewhere not very public (creeper alarm!)
  10. When a guy likes you back but doesn’t message or reply to your messaged, even though you know they’ve read it! (why hit the like button if you weren’t wanting to talk!?)

I mean, I’m still optimistic, but it’s getting harder and harder. Guys just seem clueless sometimes. Sometimes I look at messages that guy send me, and just have to scratch my head. Either some guys are terrible at come up with pick up lines or they are confused on how to swoon a girl. “I smoke weed”, “can I see your pu$$y?”,  and the worse “I have a place for us to meet, I want to tongue f*** your a**hole. would you spread you butt cheeks for me?” (that was a real first message I got, word for word) are all NOT first liners if you want to meet and get with a girl! Things like that boggle my mind, how are they not forever virgins with being so crude, rude and straight out obnoxious!

*sigh* well the heat that fuelled my rage has dwindled, so I guess I will finish off my rant there. Oh, but don’t you worry, I’m sure it will burn hot soon again, so stay tuned and please tell me some of your terrible pick up lines and your experience with online dating. Is it different, better, worse or the same and do you find it’s different in different cities or guys are just as confusing world wide? And guys I want to hear your feed back as well, what are girls doing that is peeve worthy or mind boggling!

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2 thoughts on “Online Dating

  1. ccstefanucci says:

    haha Jesse! I loved reading this. I can totally relate. I feel like good men are hard to come by in Vancouver. I tried online dating for a whole two weeks. My favourite first line was, ” Do you have a tail or something. I don’t understand how you are so beautiful and can’t find a man.” Though very sweet and flattering..maybe not such a great choice of words lol

    Like

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